I’ve had a love HATE relationship with my body for years.
The way my body levels. Its uncurves. Its structure, to make me feel less than. And for years, I’ve seen my body as a haunted house – and I’m trapped in it.
This year, I’ve let myself go. I’ve gotten uninterested and very interested in how my body is viewed, because left to me, I will tear my skin apart.
In past years, a little cut, a little unevenness would have got me spiraling.
In past years, I could, but not with ease, find beautiful in me.
This year, I couldn’t care less, I’ve gotten tired, weak, like I’d given my all and there’s nothing left to give.
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A month ago or so, I had a very short conversation with someone, and from that conversation, I realized that me and fear are in close contact, like we share a bond.
Through that, I fear that my body is going to one day betray me but the truth is, I’ve betrayed my body a million times, so what I view now from it, is the effect and the result of my constant beat down on it.
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I’ve repeatedly listened, to a sermon by Jackie Hill Perry titled Watch Your Mouth, and although, the sermon took a different route, the passage James 3— The Tongue is a very powerful weapon…
… and I’ve known for long, but I’m just coming to the realization that my body and my life, will not give me what I don’t speak into it to give me.
My body is what I make of it.
If I say it’s a pit, then it’s a pit.
If I say it’s a Kings Throne, then it’s a Kings Throne.
If I say, my body is an embodiment of Grace and Virtue and Peace and Love and Growth and Chances on chances for better –
If I say my body is a Garden of fresh fruit and Fresh Flowers.
If I say my body is Light. If I say my body gives Life.
Anything I say to my body, whether it makes sense or not, then it is.
Hating on it, doesn’t change that it’s just a cover. Empty. And will only give out, what you put in it.
Why Bother 