Honestly, I’ve had a very long and exhausting six (6) plus years, filled with shame and pain and regret and discomfort and suicidal thoughts and self disrespect.
Hi Asher’s, my manners. I know, it’s been seven hours or eight, since my last post and five days since the last before the last, LOL, it’s the inconsistency for me Too.
But Yesterday was weird.
Well, to be transparent, I’ve had weirder days…
I don’t normally keep taps of world marked celebration days, like yesterday but Instagram made me aware of October 10
And honestly, if I was a superstitious person, I would have attributed my emotions yesterday to the day itself, you get?
But I’m maturing in the understanding, that both good days and bad days are designed by God, so whether we understand or accept it, that’s just the way it is.
someone play Celine Dion now!!!
Today, my relationship with indecision become exclusively exclusive.
Does anyone else, get defensive when asked questions about the future?
“okay, so what’s your plan for this and that…?”
Or Am I the only one? Huh
And the funny thing is, I might actually have a plan, but the mere opening of a share, scares me.
It’s almost like I don’t even believe in my plan, at all or enough to share.
***
I took deep breaths, inhaled and exhaled. Closed my eyes, tight enough to be in a dark room and I imagined my life actually being better.
I would have cried, if I hadn’t cemented my water tank.
My anxiety made waves today and I let it, October 10, everybody/thing deserves to shine – as long as I stay in control of where it leads me.
I live in regret and shame of my past, but I am maturing in hope for my future.
(Proverbs 3:5&6)
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Why Bother 